Finding Treasure in the Depths of Parenting
My husband took a picture of me and our girls last night as we ate S’mores on a bench down by the creek.
Afterward, I looked at it, then I looked at it again. Their long hair and legs, their self-assured smiles. My camera had become a portal, allowing me to glimpse my daughters in seven years when my eldest will be sixteen years old and driving. My middle daughter will be a teenager. My cuddly, mischievous toddler will be entering prepubescence.
I demanded time to stop.
But time is a wily creature, so I decided to at least impede it by packing our weekend full of memories. Today, my husband would take our middle daughter on a date for her birthday. Tomorrow, we would go to an art festival and a concert at the park. On Monday, we would go hiking.
My husband said, “I’m working Monday.”
“But it’s Labor Day.”
He smiled. “That’s why I’m going to labor.”
“You want to work while our babies are becoming women?!”
“Maybe I shouldn’t work Tuesday either because they’ll still be growing.”
I know my husband’s realistic nature balances my sentimental tendencies, but that doesn’t mean I always like it. I folded my arms.
He smiled again, not intimidated by his 5’2’’ wife in the least. “Look,” he said. “I’m going to bush hog, then I’m going to take M for a date. Then tomorrow we can go do that thing at the park. But Monday, I’m working.”
I nodded and looked at our three girls, currently strewing our living room with all things pink. I wasn’t even frustrated with my husband. I was frustrated that our daughters are growing and changing, and there is nothing I can do to stop it.
Furthermore, I don’t want to stop it.
I would never want to keep our daughters in infancy, so I can forever cuddle them in the early morning dark.
I would never want to keep them in their willful toddler-hood, so I can have their dimpled arms looped around my neck as they look at me with their most endearing puppy dog eyes and say, “Sorry, Mama.”
I would never want to keep them in their five-year-old stage when they’re all kneecaps and hair and a thirst for learning.
I would never want to keep them in their seven-year-old stage when their confidence grows as their circle of friends expands.
What comes after these stages? I do not know because I haven’t been there.
But even when these stages are over, I know I must trust that time knows what it is doing. Like the creek that borders are property, it is always pulling in fresh water that expands the banks, adding depth by taking what can be removed. That’s why my daughters and I always like to walk in the shallows and explore what’s left.
Because we never know what treasure we’re going to find.
What has been your favorite stage of life so far? Can you explain why?
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