Getting What I Want
My baby girl, fourteen months, had roseola the other week. Her fever hovered around 103 for days, and she was lethargic with very little appetite. Therefore, whenever she would rouse herself long enough to point at something she thought looked good, I would hop to my feet and get it. From Sunday until Wednesday, she only slept, nursed, and munched on crackers and frozen berries.
Now, she’s completely better but still points and says, “Mama!” whenever she wants something, pulling up her lip so her top teeth show and two dimples appear on her browline.
It’s hard for me to say no to such a small, imperious face, but because I have more knowledge than she does, I know what’s good for her and what’s not.
This past week has produced a few temper tantrums from my dear little cherub because she doesn’t understand why I won’t give her what she wants. The other night, to distract her from this, I started pointing to what she was pointing to: the tea cup mobile hanging above her crib, the orchid on my window ledge, the soap dispenser.
At first, she was confused, and then she started to laugh. I even mimicked her face: scrunching up my forehead and showing my teeth as I flung out my arm like an emperor commanding my peons. Then the baby understood. She belly-laughed, flinging her arm in all kinds of directions, and I flung my arm in all kinds of directions. She laughed. I laughed. And then I suddenly could see myself in my little girl.
Long story short, I am a pretty demanding daughter.
I have fully embraced the idea that my Father God loves me as much—and even more—than I love my little girls, and this love has awakened and reassured my heart in immeasurable ways. Despite this, sometimes I get fussy when I don’t get what I want.
Granted, I don’t want a salt water pool and a live-in maid (though both would be nice). I want to see my loved ones healed. I believe it is possible. I know that prayer can move the heart of God, and so I don’t always understand when I “point” to something through prayer, and He doesn’t jump to my request.
Now this is the confidence that we have in Him, that if we ask anything according to His will, He hears us. And if we know that He hears us, whatever we ask, we know that we have the petitions that we have asked of Him. – 1 John 5:14-15
However, what if He has more knowledge than I do (what a concept!), and He knows what’s good for me and my loved ones . . . and what’s not?
What if an unanswered prayer is actually an answer in itself?
Last night, at life group, my husband shared that we’re grateful for his brain tumor since nothing else could have driven us to seek God’s heart like this. Still, if I could point and have it gone, would I? You bet. I’ve tried it. But instead of resenting my Father God, I am going to trust His goodness. His faithfulness. His timing. Trust that He knows more than I do, and so I will put down my pointer finger and rest.
How are you going to trust God’s goodness this week?