Giveaway & Interview with Author of Bonnet Strings: An Amish Woman’s Ties to Two Worlds

Giveaway & Interview with Author of Bonnet Strings: An Amish Woman’s Ties to Two Worlds

A few months ago, I had the privilege of endorsing Saloma Miller Furlong’s memoir, “Bonnet Strings: An Amish Woman’s Ties Between Two Worlds,” and ever since I have wanted to introduce her to you all, my dear readers!

(Be sure to read down through the interview. At the bottom, you will discover an opportunity to win an autographed copy of Bonnet Strings!)

At age twenty, Saloma Miller left behind her Amish community in Burton, Ohio, and boarded a night train for Vermont, where she knew no one.

In this poignant coming-of-age memoir, Saloma’s new life of freedom includes work as a waitress and plans to continue her education. Romance also blossoms with a Yankee toymaker. Soon, however, a vanload of people from her community, including the Amish bishop, arrive to take her back into the fold. Saloma’s freedom comes to an abrupt end when she goes back home to Ohio with them.

Thus begins a years-long struggle of feeling torn between two worlds: will she remain Amish and embrace the sense of belonging and community her Amish life offers, or will she return to the newfound freedom she tasted in Vermont?

Bonnet Strings by Saloma Miller Furlong offers a universal story of overcoming adversity and a rare look inside an Amish community. Readers of Amish fiction and viewers of the PBS documentaries such as “The Amish” and “The Amish: Shunned” will find in it a true story: of woundedness and healing, of doubt and faith, and of the often competing desires for freedom and belonging.

J. Thank you so much for agreeing to an interview today, Saloma. What an honor to have you here! Can you tell us a little more about your new book?

S. Bonnet Strings: An Amish Woman’s Ties to Two Worlds continues the story I started with my first book. Why I Left the Amish is about my childhood, when I had no choice but to endure abuse — I simply could not change the life I had. It is told in flashbacks, when I returned to my horse and buggy world in Ohio from Smith College for my father’s funeral.

Bonnet Strings is about my young adulthood, when I could change my life situation — and I did by leaving home. After my first taste of freedom and a “Yankee” romance in Vermont, I was taken back to my Amish community in Ohio by the bishop and others. Thus began my struggle of feeling torn between two worlds. My Amish world offered community and tradition and my Vermont world offered freedom. I grappled with whether you can have a foot in both worlds or whether you just have to chose between one and the other. Bonnet Strings answers this question for myself.

J. What a heartrending decision, Saloma. When did you know you wanted to write your story?

S. I was twenty-three years old, still wearing Amish clothes and working at the Century Village of the Geauga County Historical Society when I first thought about writing my story. My supervisor, Gloria Armstrong, witnessed the unfolding of the young romance between the Yankee toymaker and me that was happening in front of her eyes. She kept telling me that I needed to write my story. Besides still wearing Amish clothing, I was also wearing my Amish humility, so I felt unworthy. Who would want to read my story?

It did not take long after the second time I left the Amish that I discovered the answer to this question: many people. Unlike the first time I had left, this time, I kept my given name, Saloma. This often triggered the question, “What kind of a name is Saloma?” If I was inclined to tell my story and we had enough time, I would tell how I grew up in an Amish community. Almost invariably, someone would ask me why I left. Because there wasn’t just one reason, and because I wanted to include the nuances, it usually took a while to finish. The nearly universal response was, “You have got to write your story!” Each time I told it, I would become more determined to someday write it down.

J. Who were some of the people who helped you along the publishing journey?

S. I was twenty-three when I began taking classes at the Adult Basic Education Center in Winooski, Vermont, to study for my General Education Diploma. I had a writing teacher there who became my mentor. She even got a short story into print for me, which gave me a taste for more.

In the years that followed, I was part of several writing groups and classes that helped me further hone the craft of writing. And as my life and story evolved, I was blessed with a wonderful and warm group of friends who helped me to find the gumption to write about my life.

I wrote my first memoir and tried selling it several times. Eventually I became discouraged and stored it away, where it was gathering dust. One day, during my first semester at Smith College in 2004, I was telling my life story to Eleanor Rothman, who had starting the Ada Comstock Program at Smith College for women who had not finished their college education at the traditional age. Her response was the same as many other people’s before her: “You have got to write your story.” I told her about my manuscript, and she highly recommended I get in touch with a developmental editor named Jeanne Braham. She became the midwife for my first book.

I still had a hard time finding an “in” to the publishing world after that. After trying two agents without success, I said, “One more try.” I did a multiple submission to 33 (which happens to be my favorite number) different publishers. Soon after I did that, I received an email from Julie Loehr at Michigan State University Press, telling me that they would like to publish my book. That same day, after telling her I was thrilled, I received a request from a different publisher for the whole manuscript. That is when I knew the time had come for my story to be published.

For my second book, I had a friend Shirley Showalter, author of Blush: A Mennonite Girl Meets a Glittering World make a recommendation to Herald Press, who decided to publish Bonnet Strings. I am grateful to every person who helped me along my publishing journey.

J. Wow. What a journey! Isn’t it amazing how God places people in our paths right when we need them the most? How has your writing been received by your Amish family?

S. Not happily. My parents are both deceased and all my sisters left the community after I did, so that leaves my two brothers and their families in the community. But the truth is, I was not communicating with my brothers and their families before then, either. It’s true that when a family member dies, there are relationships that shift and change with the remaining family members. After my sister, Lizzie, died, my brothers stopped communicating with me. They had not attended Lizzie’s memorial service. But I’m sure that exposing what I did in Why I Left the Amish would not have been well received by them, especially my older brother, who was one of the perpetrators in the abuse I endured in my childhood.

J. You are incredibly brave, Saloma, for speaking out about the abuse you endured and–through your memoir–offering healing and strength to your readers. Do you have any advice for anyone interested in crafting a memoir?

S. I would say be authentic, trust your voice, and persevere. It is not an easy road, so you will need to draw on your inner resources.

Everyone who crafts a memoir has to decide how to handle painful memories in the life story we feel compelled to write. Finding a balance between censoring our life stories so as not to hurt someone and “telling all” is difficult. None of us have the answers for anyone else, but if we feel called to write our life stories for an audience, we must answer it for ourselves. It requires that we search our souls for the essence of our lives and stories and then stay true to this essence and reason for writing it — even when it means not looking away from the pain.

J. Beautifully answered, Saloma, thank you for sharing your insight with us.

Dear readers, to enter for a drawing of Bonnet Strings: An Amish Woman’s Ties Between Two Worlds, just leave your home state in the commenting section, and I will place your name in the “bonnet” for the drawing! I will announce the winner next week. (Due to the cost of shipping, this drawing is only applicable to those living within the United States.)

To learn more about Saloma Miller Furlong and her writing, visit her website: http://aboutamish.blogspot.com/