My True Colors, Not So Beautiful
Today — for the first time in over a week — I ventured out to our land. Our house is officially “dried in;” the windows have been installed; the electrical wiring is almost completed. As I looked around at my husband’s progress, the reality of our impending move sank in and I went into Martha Stewart overdrive. An hour later found me standing in Lowe’s cabinetry section, flipping through racks of samples while trying to find the perfect wood to complement our kitchen.
“How ’bout this one?” I asked, pointing to a knotty birch.
My husband just looked at me a minute. “But you said you don’t like knots…remember? You think they’re too rustic.”
I smiled and rapped the wood with a knuckle. “Well, I do now.”
We went over to the countertops.
“Look at this granite!” I exclaimed, running my hands over the smooth rock. “See those goldish swirls? They’d go perfectly with the cabinets!”
Shuddering, Randy said, “I like Formica.”
We went over to the flooring. Thankfully, we both agreed on laminate over wood since the latter scuffs too easily. But then he likes gouges and I like ripples.
The door section is always a tricky one to traverse. I gravitate toward front doors with curlicues of inlaid iron and triangles of shimmering glass. My husband gravitates toward doors that are simple as a Quaker’s. Then you’ve got the whole real wood versus Plexiglas debate. The salesman said wooden doors will warp into a C if they’re not treated correctly. I stood there trying to picture this for a while, but couldn’t. He must have a stronger imagination than I.
After getting a $2,500 quote (for just a front door!), my husband and I walked over to the lighting section. If you’ve ever read my post, “Marriage: Where There’s No Cheapskatin’ on Compromise,” you’ll know this is where Randy and I had an argument over a dragonfly fixture before. This time, though, he was the one picking out outdoor lighting that was too fancy for my taste.
“I don’t like how it does that curly thing at the bottom.” I gestured to the offended design and wrinkled my nose. “It looks Victorian or something.”
Putting the box back on the shelf, Randy sighed and said, “Woman, I can’t figure you out.”
We decided to finish with the painting section: the area where my husband and I differ more than any other. Even the way we decorate ourselves is completely different. I love vibrant Gypsy jewelry and girlish frills, eclectic styles and colorful layering. He likes simple clothing (gray and cotton, cotton and gray) that can be donned in seconds like a fireman and would wear jeans to weddings if I let him out the door.
So, when I pulled out the swatches I loved — Irish Tea, Desert Carnation, Copper Hide, Ancient Olive, Hazy Jade, Rio Grande Mud, Buckskin Pony — he about fainted.
“Aren’t we going to have at least one room that’s neutral?” he cried.
I nodded and passed him a swatch. “Yep. That’s Buckskin Pony…practically tan.”
He just raised his eyebrows.
Randy said, “The person that lives there is some box company owner or something.”
I looked over my shoulder. “You mean he’s going to live in that huge place alone!”
“How sad.”
I reached for Randy’s hand.
My husband moved his calloused thumb across the top of mine and smiled.
For the rest of the drive, I thought about that empty mansion on the bluff and realized I would rather live in a shack painted gray than in a colorful palace alone.
Sorry, the comment form is closed at this time.
Sarah
Aw. Very sweet. My husband and I had enough trouble trying to organize our apartment. I think we need a few more years of cohabitation before attempting to do what you are doing. Good luck in your endeavor!
Melissa Crytzer Fry
Oh how I appreciated this post! Any couple who has ever built a home together will totally “get” all of what you say. I was giggling the whole time. Our house has been dried in for a year now (have had to stop due to the economy's official clobbering of my business). But I think the 'time away' has been good. Fortunately, we work well together; put the exterior walls up — just hubby, me and sister. Then just me and hubs put up ALL the interior framing – and we still like one another. Interestingly enough, our architect was once a marriage counselor and had us take a gazillion surveys to 'head off' any troubles we might have re: differing tastes. The stats are appalling re: how many couples will divorce over a house build.
At any rate, on the color thing: fortunately, I WAS left in charge of all colors interior and exterior because I have finally convinced MY husband that, indeed, he suffers from some color blindness (I believe most males do). Maybe you can convince Randy of the same; pull up one of the official color-blindness charts online and make him take it. That opened my hubby's eyes :-). Smooth sailin' since!
Jolina Petersheim
Hey, Sarah,
I'm sure you and your hubby would be fine building a house. It's so nice how — much like writing a novel or having a child — it comes in stages. It would be completely overwhelming if a house just plopped down on our land a la Wizard of Oz. At this rate, you just tackle one project at a time and eventually you have a cohesive whole.
Speaking of novels, I'd betta get to writing!
Thanks for reading! 🙂
Susie
Jo,
Love the post! Colors sound great, but I am sure that the house will be a wonderful home no matter what color it is! 🙂
Jolina Petersheim
Wow, Melissa, you sound like a pioneer woman! I am impressed! 🙂 And I LOVE how your architect was a marriage counselor; what a package deal! I've often thought about writing a novel that revolves around a struggling husband and wife building a house and how that's a metaphor for their marriage. I remember reading a poem in college about something like that, but I can't remember the title now. It is very sad how often building a house will destroy a couple….That's why it's always good to take a step back and see if the colors of the wall really matter that much. Of course, I believe I will employ that color chart you suggested! Let's just hope I'm not color blind, too!
Jolina Petersheim
Hi there, Susie Pederson!
It's so nice hearing from you, girl! Thanks for your vote of confidence about our house. I'm just hoping — regardless if the whole thing's painted Hazy Jade or Dove Gray — that it will be first and foremost a loving home! 🙂
Brittani
Great story! I love how your posts put such a positive spin on disagreements in marriage. It is OK to have differences in taste! I know that it would be very boring if my husband and I were the same person!
Good luck on the rest of the house building. Even though this is my first posting, I am an avid reader of your blog.
Lots of Love,
Brittani
Jolina Petersheim
Hey, dear Brittani,
Thanks for reading and commenting! I believe writing about marriage is one of my favorite topics. The novel I'm working on revolves around a husband and wife whose 41 year union is devastated by a 20 year old secret they've both kept from the other. It's been a bittersweet journey, but they are now finding their way back where they belong! Whew! 🙂
And thanks for wishing us well with the house building! I'll keep ya posted!
Love,
Jo
Fallible Me
What a wonderful post, as always! You never fail to inspire and delight. (And I am sure your home will reflect you and Randy – exceptional, joyful and welcoming).
xoxo
Paige
Fallible Me
What a wonderful post, as always! You never fail to inspire and delight. (And I am sure your home will reflect you and Randy – exceptional, joyful and welcoming).
xoxo
Paige
Jolina Petersheim
Aw, thanks, Paige! You sure know how to warm this gal's heart! Whenever we're completed, we need to have you and Hubby out sometime. We've already invited River and Owen; perhaps you all could come together. Shoot, the whole Dutch Lunch crew! 😉
Sarah
I've chosen you to receive the Stylish Blogger Award! Hope you've got room for it on your new shelves. 😉
Details here:
http://glissadesandgabble.blogspot.com/2011/01/post-in-which-i-am-stylish.html
Jolina Petersheim
Thank you for the award, Sarah! You just made my day!
Erin
Before Brandon and I married I looked forward to putting together our gift registry; picking everything out and building items for what would be our home. Elated that my husband wanted to be a part of the fun I was only happy to have him tag along to each store; that is, until we learned that we have COMPLETELY different taste in everything all the way down to the silverware. The gift registry became a nightmare because like you I LOVE color whereas my husband prefers brown. Over the years we both have given a little here and there. Brandon has learned to trust me with color while I've learned to keep his neutral/ brown pallet in mind when picking something out.
When it comes down to it I'm with you, I would rather live in a brown shack than in my brightly colored dream home alone. 🙂 Thanks for sharing, I always enjoy your writing.
Jolina Petersheim
That's hilarious, Erin! Is it because of our husbands' introverted personalities that they gravitate toward neutral colors like brown and gray, and — because of our extra-EXTRA-verted personalities — we graviate toward red and blue? It IS lovely, though, when we can blend both pallets of personality and find the perfect color temperature that suits all. Thanks for sharing, Erin, and reading. 🙂