These Arms Were Made For Hugging…

These Arms Were Made For Hugging…

This week on Yahoo News I read that country music singer Taylor Swift surprised two male Auburn students with something they had been seeking for many months…a hug. That’s it: a hug. No big smooch on the lips; no backstage passes and limo ride; no escorting gigs to the Grammys. Just a good, arms-wrapped-’round-the-neck hug. After reading this article, I began to think that perhaps these Auburn boys were on to something. Not a hug from Taylor Swift — she’s so bony and long-legged it’d probably be like snuggling up to a Pelican — but the passionate seeking of hugs and giving of hugs in return.

My huggiest experience, arms down, was on September 27, 2008: our wedding day. At the reception, my newly-minted husband and I went around and hugged every guest (except for the few Amish neither of us knew; they must’ve seen the Miller/Petersheim Wedding signs and figured a relative was sure to be in attendance). I didn’t mind these 200-some embraces in the least. I was so relieved to be finally married to my sweetheart, and our outdoor wedding with no rain plan had gone off without a drop that I even hugged our caterers, our florists, our string quartet, our photographer. Shoot, I would’ve hugged Hugo Chavez himself had he chosen to make an appearance.

The second huggiest experience of my life was on May 3, 2008: my college graduation. I hugged those who were lined up with the M through P’s. Like a mourning butterfly in my black graduation gown, I flitted around to hug those who were back near the W through Z’s. I hugged the girls I’d known since I was a freshman in Gillespie Hall. I even hugged the professors who I had only exchanged brisk handshakes with before.

Although my husband and I adore our cashier, up ’til last week we never actually hugged her. Yes, I’d given her side hugs at our Christmas parties, on her birthday, and at our Easter picnic, but — like I said — I never really embraced her. It wasn’t until last week when she came stumbling into our office to tell me the date and time of her 23-year-old son’s visitation and funeral that I stood up and hugged her as I should have been hugging her all along. I held her so tightly that I could feel her stomach heaving against my own. I held her so tightly that the heat of her grief radiated onto me like I was standing before a second sun. I held her so tightly that that “first” hug between us, I know, will be forever imprinting in my mind.

Our cashier returned to work on Wednesday: just three days after her only son’s funeral. In the beginning, everything went like clockwork. She slipped her floral apron over her clothes. From my perch in our office, I could hear her usual whistle and hum as she straightened the Health and Beauty Aids. After we opened, for hours upon hours she rang up costumers’ orders, deposited the items into bags, and handed them over with a cheerful smile and her indiscriminant “You’uns have a good’n.” But when a friend of ours — who’s also going through an unthinkably difficult time — came in and saw her there, everything changed. He strode over in his Red Wing work boots, said, “I don’t know what to say, but I’m sorry” and wrapped his arms tightly around her. She hugged him back while replying, “I’m doing okay. Really.” Even as she said this, though, her cheerful smile slipped from her face like the mask it was and tears started rolling down.

So, I challenge you just as Taylor Swift had challenged those two Auburn boys: don’t wait for graduations, weddings, and funerals to give your relatives and your friends your hugs. Give them good, arms-wrapped-’round-the-neck hugs today. And, please, if you see someone changing your oil, waiting on your table, or bagging up your groceries who seems to be wearing more of a mask than a smile, reach across the social-propriety chasm to where they are, gently pat their back or their hand and say, “I don’t know what to say, but I’m sorry,” for you never know when they’re standing there trying, trying to keep those tears from rolling down.

(The website behind the story: A Hug From Taylor Swift.com)